PRIDE - PASIFIKA STORIES - Sammy Salsa

In celebration of Auckland Pride Month, we're sharing Pasifika Pride stories. 

Sammy Salsa

Samoan/Niuean

Fashion & Celebrity Stylist 

I’ve always hated the term “Coming out” and I still do – when people would ask me “How long have you been gay?” I would respond with “How long have you been straight?”   The “coming out” scenarios made the whole process feel like I was carrying a dirty little secret that needed to be exposed.  And it was anything but, this was my lively hood, the actual person I was to be – so one day I brought my partner home to meet my family as any poly boy would bring home their girlfriend to meet the aiga, except, I was bringing home a man, a palagi man at that.

It took some time for my family to adjust, which at that point I realized they weren’t upset at the whole “Gay” thing, they were more afraid of the unknown, it was almost like the old “straight” Sammy they once knew no longer existed in their lives. They thought they had lost a son, an older brother – this was where I came in to educate them and shed light on something that was so taboo in our household and our community, and make it the norm.

Growing up, sexuality let alone LGBTQI topics of conversation were taboo and never talked about in our homes, now thanks to mainstream media we’re highly likely to be exposed to the subject on every media platform, be it television, the Internet and social media. Outside of our comfort zones there are so many mainstream and community platforms for young LGBTQI Pasefika people to reach out to. In some parts of the world I feel its evolving and so are our backyard communities which is great. We still have a long way to go but we’re noticing the shift for equality and normality.

 

One of things I found most challenging was I tried so hard for others to accept me for who I am that I forgot about the one person that needed accepting – myself. We go through life worrying about what others think, we overlook the foundations of what makes us unique, we sometimes drain ourselves of the energy that we’re meant to put out into the world because we’re too afraid of what’s on the other end.

It wasn’t until I found peace within myself, my body, my way of thinking that I truly could look myself in the mirror everyday and say, “This is who I am”. And in saying that my journey hasn’t ended and nor can I say the challenges also, I live in a world where my sexuality will forever carry a big question mark across my forehead but as long as I know who I am on this journey, then I will be fine.